i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
