I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
