you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Come see our sink grown plant.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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