it hurts more in the daytime
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
