So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
