i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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