My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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