real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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