You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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