uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
