The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
