We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I believe in your delicious
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
