Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
