I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
