i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
