butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
