sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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