True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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