No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
