There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
