I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
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