I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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