Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
