i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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