I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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