Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
