My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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