He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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