I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
