So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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