I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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