Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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