Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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