Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
