shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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