I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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