I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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