I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
