he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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