I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
