Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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