Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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