I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
