Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What did we do last night that was yellow?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
