New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
