i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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