there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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