If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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