Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
