i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
