The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
