i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
