where am i from again
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
