I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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