something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize