also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
