Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
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Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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