is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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