Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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